How can you deal with fear?

In this time, and with everything happening around us, it is very natural to feel fear, stress or even a kind of heaviness or shutdown.

Even in the Qur’an, Allah says:

“We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure.” (Al-Baqarah 2:155)

So feeling fear and stress is part of life… but how do we be patient with it? And how do we deal with it?

What do I mean when I say this is normal?

It is a very natural response from our nervous system to what is happening around us.

When I say the nervous system responds, I mean that it is constantly detecting whether there is safety or danger through a process called neuroception, and then sends signals to the body.

This activates the stress response… fight, flight, or freeze… without any awareness or choice from you. When we feel fear or stress, we become more vigilant, because vigilance is what protects us from a bodily perspective.

That is why we may find ourselves constantly checking the news, or watching the environment around us, or becoming more aware of sounds. Because this state of vigilance pushes the nervous system to search for cues of safety or cues of danger. And without our awareness, this vigilance can bring up emotions like stress, fear, and a constant sense of anticipation.

Let’s understand fear from a bodily perspective.

Fear is physiological reactions in your body. It is your nervous system entering a state of fight or flight. Adrenaline increases and prepares you for movement.

Your body is telling you:

We need to move,

We need to protect ourselves,

We need to act.

So fear is a bodily response. Not something you can think your way out of.

Trying to ignore fear

Many people try to move past this feeling and say:

“I don’t want to feel this way.”

“I don’t want to feel stressed.”

“I don’t want to feel afraid.”

But the truth is:

Fear is a very human feeling.

And the stress coming from current events is very natural.

We do not want to ignore this feeling, we want to learn how to deal with it.

Ways to deal with fear

Feeling and preparation

One way to deal with fear is to allow ourselves to feel it instead of ignoring it.

For example, when you feel fear…

Ask yourself: what is happening in my body?

Is my body tense?

Is my heart beating fast?

Am I on high aler?

Notice how fear shows up in my body… without judgment.

Then start to calm myself:

Take slow breaths,

Stay present in your body,

and remind myself: I am safe right now.

Sometimes what helps us deal with fear, is listening to what it is saying.

Fear might be a message saying:

"I want to be prepared,

I want to feel safe if this situation happens."

So you can help yourself by preparing.

Ask yourself:

What do I need to be ready?

Do I need a safe space?

Do I need to prepare certain things?

Do I have someone I can reach out to if I feel ungrounded?

Coming back from fear

It is important to learn how to calm down from this feeling. Coming back from fear starts with awareness. Understand that when your body, or your nervous system, goes into fight or flight, you become aware of it.

You notice:

I feel stressed,

My heart is racing,

My thoughts are speeding up,

I feel confused or anxious.

You become aware of this shift in the moment it happens, because awareness is the foundation. Once you recognize that you are afraid, you can begin to calm yourself.

To calm fear, it is important to understand something:

Fear is not in your thoughts, it's a felt experience.

So it is important to deal with it on a bodily level.

Fear can be seen as energy.

So instead of trying to think your way out of it, you move it.

You can shake your hands and feet to release this energy.

You can take a warm shower to feel safe.

You can walk in your garden.

You can go into sujood and speak to Allah.

You can take deeper breaths.

Orienting using your senses

I also want to mention something.

Our government is doing a very good job sending alerts about when we need to prepare and when things are okay and we can continue our lives. This is something important because it can help regulate your nervous system.

It prepares your system to respond when needed, and then gives it a signal of safety when things are okay again.

In Somatic Experiencing, we call this orienting.

This means looking around you using your senses and noticing cues of safety or danger.

Examples of safety cues:

A calm sound,

Someone you love,

A picture of someone you love,

Your husband, your mother.

Examples of danger cues:

Loud sounds,

Or for example, when you are driving and see a fast car coming toward you.

This is orienting.

Try it out;

You can look around,

take in your environment,

and notice what is safe, or okay to look at.

Use your eyes, look around slowly.

Or you can use your body, move your neck right and left.

Or you can use your ears, listen to the sounds around you.

Grounding

You move out of fear by allowing yourself to feel it, and then moving through it.

One of the best ways to calm fear is grounding in the present moment.

Grounding means using your body to be present now.

Feel the ground under you.

Feel your muscles.

It is very important to teach your body how to be here.

Place your feet on the ground, whether you are standing or sitting.

Feel your feet stable on the ground.

Feel like you are rooted.

If using your feet does not help, use your hands.

Press gently, not strongly, on your muscles, like your thighs or arms.

Just to feel your body,

your weight,

your presence.

Connection

Also, connection is very important in times of stress.

Whether with family, friends, or even one person you feel safe with.

We are social beings.

Just feeling that someone is with you gives a sense of safety and helps calm stress and fear.

Allah created us in connection with others from our very first relationship, which highlights how connection is essential for our survivial.

We need connection to survive, and we need others around us to feel safe.

And in Emirati culture, we say:

“A paradise without people is not worth stepping into.”

And remember, the goal is not to get rid of stress and fear.

The goal is to learn how to move with it, to let it move through you,

Support your nervous system as it returns to safety.

The healthiest thing you can do,is learn how to feel fear, and come back from it.

Train yourself to move up and down those emotions with flexibility.

If you feel that stress or fear has become too much, and it is difficult to deal with,

please ask for help.

If you feel you need support in this journey,

you are always welcome to reach out to me.